Maid to Order (Man Maid Book 4) Read online

  “She worries about you, Danny. That’s all,” Diane said. “I’ll talk to her but she doesn’t like the idea of you being all alone. She loves you…”

  “Can you put a security camera at my house, Rusty? Then Amy can watch me like you watch her,” Danny said. “Then she won’t worry anymore.”

  In that instant Rusty wanted to sink into the couch upon seeing the look Amy’s mother gave him, but instead simply said, “Even being able to make sure she’s safe there when she works late, I still worry about her… because I care about her. She will worry about you too, regardless of a security camera… because she cares about you.”

  “She cares about you too but she doesn’t watch you…” Danny argued.

  Oh Amy watched him alright. Hell, he’d felt her burning gaze more than once… from the very first day he’d met her in person. Did that mean she cared about him… worried about him? Maybe even loved him? Glancing over at Amy’s mom, she gave him a knowing look and a half smile.

  “I’ll talk to her for you, Danny, but I can’t promise anything,” Diane finally agreed, looking back at Danny.

  They talked a little more about AmyCakes and Danny’s newly acquired skills but as they went to leave, Diane touched Rusty’s arm and said, “It was nice to see you again, Rusty. I wanted to thank you for looking out for Danny… and Amy too.”

  Looking at the woman, he wanted to thank her too… for giving him Amy in the first place. He’d been so lost without her in his life… for so many years. Now she was his world… and Danny was hers so he would do what he could to ensure they were both happy.

  It was tough because if it weren’t for how much he adored Amy, he would be fully on Danny’s side in this. Diane appeared to know that somehow which left him a little speechless. So Instead of trying to respond, he simply nodded his head and escaped out the door.

  The ride back to his house was silent. Danny appeared to be lost in thought as he didn’t even sing along to the radio. The man was trying like hell to live his life the way he wanted. In their own ways… both Sylvia and Amy thought they were doing what was best for Danny. But like a flame… if smothered… it would eventually burn out.

  He didn’t want Danny to give up on his dreams… but he didn’t want to upset Amy either. Not now when he was finally back in her arms and willing to remain there until she had her fill of him and moved on.

  Rusty couldn’t help but respect Danny… when Danny ran up against a brick wall… he merely shrugged it off and went after something else for a while. He continually changed his game plan until he somehow managed some semblance of the original goal.

  No longer having to live at the group home where Les had tormented him meant Danny could change course and go after the job he also wanted. Now that he’d landed that opportunity as well, he was back to working on a place of his own.

  Every dream… every goal was there in his mind. Danny simply shuffled them around and worked on them one at a time… whichever one was likely to pan out at the moment. Danny simply turned the vinyl record over and played the other side.

  It was an impressive life skill that few people learned to master. Danny made it look easy. If he could do it regardless of his medical conditions or the judgments of society regarding people with Down Syndrome… shouldn’t it be something that Rusty could do too?

  He was surprised when later that evening, Danny came out of his room and said, “I want to spend the weekend with Amy. Can you drive me there, Rusty?”

  “Sure…” he replied. Without a word, Danny headed back to his room to pack some things to take with him.

  Within seconds of walking through the door to Amy’s apartment, he knew his earlier gut reaction to Danny wanting to visit Diane that morning had actually been a premonition. It was a glimpse at the hell the day would end with. Amy met them at the door and immediately told Danny to take his things back to her room as he would be sleeping in there with Grudge while she would be sleeping on the couch.

  When Danny disappeared down the hall with Grudge following behind, she turned to Rusty. Fire burned in her warm hazel eyes. As pissed off at him as she was, he could still feel the sparks of energy that always flowed between them. It made the hairs on his arm stand at attention. She captured his attention like no other woman ever had.

  “A heads up would have been nice,” she huffed attempting to keep her voice down. “You could have called and told me that Danny was so upset by this whole place of his own thing that he was planning to talk to my mother about it. I mean you do live with him and had to have some idea of how big a deal it was to him. You could have said so… but no… you decide to once again stick your nose where it doesn’t belong and get involved in my family’s business!”

  Earlier he’d wondered if she cared about him. He’d even experienced a glimmer of hope that perhaps she loved him. Now he knew better… she may want him as her lover but she didn’t want him involved in her life. When it came to Danny… he was an outsider.

  Like with his brothers in arms and their families, he was a fifth wheel… unnecessary baggage that Amy didn’t want or need. He’d tried to tell her that but she’d used his lust for her to convince him otherwise. Well the truth was there in her words.

  She was apparently just now realizing it. And just as Rusty had predicted, one of them did get hurt by indulging in this thing between them. Him.

  Rusty stared at her for a brief moment, trying to memorize all he could about her for the long nights ahead. Then he turned and walked out of her front door for the last time. Well one thing was for sure… regardless of things between him and Amy going south the way they had… Danny would in fact always have a place of his own.

  The one area of his will that Rusty had always struggled with was who to leave his house to. Lauren had her own house as did all his buddies. He’d given all he had to his country and didn’t really want to give them his house too. Well now he had a name to write on that beneficiary line. Danny Carlton.

  ***

  “Where did Rusty go?” Danny asked upon returning from putting his things in her room.

  “He went home,” Amy replied, attempting to keep the anger and frustration out of her voice. She shouldn’t have said that to Rusty but damn! It hadn’t even been a year! Why couldn’t everyone just give her a little bit of time to come to terms with having Danny in her life?

  “I asked Rusty to take me to see your mom. You should be mad at me, Amy. Not Rusty. He’s my best friend and was just trying to help me,” Danny explained. “I know you worry about me and I love you too but I’m ready for my own house now. I have a job. I can cook and do laundry. I can shop and make change at the checkout. I’m grown up and I can’t wait for you to let me go anymore… I‘m ready now, Amy.”

  Before she could say anything more, her mother opened the front door to her apartment and, sticking her head inside, said, “Hi, guys. Can I come in?”

  Amy flopped down on the couch with a sigh. As much as she hated the thought… she’d also known this day would come. Danny was right… it wasn’t Rusty’s fault. It was hers. These past months with Danny had changed how she saw the world around her.

  One day she was basically an only child and the next she had a sibling… a man with blonde hair and hazel eyes… just like hers… who argued about everything… just like her. A man she was legally responsible for.

  These past few weeks Danny had went from being just a sibling to being her brother… a man who had looked out for her when she was younger… and still did in his own way. A man who loved her… every bit as much as she loved him. Giving him up now was not an option.

  She’d waited almost twenty five years to really get to know him. Why was there such a rush to give him independence now? Why couldn’t she have just a little bit more time with him before life took him away… again. Why couldn’t everyone understand that?

  “I take it you’ve been talking to Amy about wanting a place of your own, Danny?” Diane asked, sitting down in the chair across from the
couch.

  Danny sat down on the couch right next to Amy, as close as he could get. Then he reached over and took her hand in his, patting the top of it with his free hand. Comforting her… easing her fears. That’s what he did and no matter how selfish it might seem… she liked it. She needed it.

  “I don’t like to make Amy sad, but sometimes I have to, Diane. I will always look out for her, just like Rusty looks out for Lauren. Even if Amy moves to California like Lauren did. I just need my own house. That way Amy can come over, sit on my bed and listen to records with me. Anytime… because I’m her big brother… not a babysitter,” Danny explained, looking at her mother.

  Turning her head and looking at Danny, Amy realized that yet again… he thought he was looking out for her. Creating a safe haven for her to escape his mother and her father fighting, even though neither one of them was still alive. To do that… he needed a place to do it in. Suddenly the idea of a place to escape to sounded kind of nice.

  In fact, that’s what she’d been doing this whole time. Even when Danny was in the group home, she’d been willing to argue with him just to have him all to herself. It was the closest thing to his room at Sylvia’s house that she could escape to when life got to be too much.

  Visiting him was an excuse to shut out everything and everyone else… the shop, money problems, even dog problems. Then Rusty had come along and taken him from her. So now when she visited him, she was sidetracked by the hottest guy she’d ever seen.

  Now, if her mother, Danny and even Rusty had their way… her brother would once again move away from her. The difference was that this time… she could visit him whenever she wanted. There would be no Sylvia to anger her father, driving a wedge between father and son and two siblings resulting in lost years that couldn’t be regained.

  “Okay, if that’s really what you want… We’ll go next Monday when the shop is closed and see what we can find,” Amy finally sighed. Then, seeing the smile on her mother’s face, she said, “You could also help with this process. Danny can fill out the applications by himself so all you would have to do is drive him around to pick some up. Then once he gets them filled out, he and I can make an appointment to go look at them and turn in the applications.”

  “You’re both grown-ups now,” Diane replied with a smile. “I think this is something you can handle yourselves. Perhaps your friend Rusty can help out. I’m thinking of doing some traveling now that my medicine is regulated and doing its job.”

  Then, as though her job was done, Amy watched her mother stand up, walk over and hug first Danny and then herself, before leaving. When the door closed behind Diane, Amy looked over at Danny who was also looking bewildered at her mother’s refusal to help.

  “I think she’s teaching us a lesson,” Danny said, finally breaking the silence. “I think it’s about taking care of ourselves but I’m not sure. Your mom is hard to understand, Amy. She’s hard to understand like my mom was. I think that’s what happens when you become a mom.”

  Amy couldn’t hold back the laugh. How many times had she thought that same thing when her mom had insisted she handle things where Danny was concerned? For the first time, though, she realized that without her doing so, Amy wouldn’t have a brother now… he would still be a stranger to her… not a babysitter though. Never a babysitter.

  “Are you still mad at Rusty?” Danny asked her after a moment.

  “No… I was never mad at him. I was just being a brat,” she replied. She should call Rusty and apologize.

  “I’m glad because his letter is so sad,” Danny sighed.

  “What letter?” Amy asked.

  Without a word, Danny got up and went back down the hallway and then returned with a legal pad and handed it to her.

  With each word she read her heart skipped a beat. She could hear the contents of the letter as though Rusty was actually reading them aloud and it hurt worse than if her heart had been physically torn from her chest. The man she loved meant to kill himself and she’d just hurt him and sent him home. Alone.

  “Where did you get this?” she managed to choke out.

  “It was in a drawer near his gun cabinet. The guns are locked in Rusty’s gun cabinet so it’s safe… even when he lets me stay by myself. Only Rusty has a key to it so no one else can get to them. The drawer wasn’t locked though and when I put the place mats away after dinner I found his sad letter,” Danny replied.

  “Oh God…” she breathed.

  Glancing at Danny, she was surprised when he said, “You should go talk to him now. Just say how sorry you are and how much you love him. He’ll forgive you because he loves you too. I can stay by myself now and everything will be fine. If I need to, I can call Addie Clark. I have her phone number in my phone now too.”

  Looking at Danny she realized that her brother would be just fine. Rusty on the other hand…

  Chapter Fourteen

  “This is Ronnie,”

  “Ronnie, this is Amy Carlton. Please… I need your help!” she nearly yelled when Ronnie finally answered his house phone.

  Having tried Ian Hamilton first and then Seth Lewis and getting no answer from either, she’d tried Ronnie Brown’s house praying that someone there would answer. She was looking for at least one of Rusty’s Army buddies to help her… to help him.

  “What’s going on?” Ronnie asked, alarm sounding in his voice.

  “Danny found a suicide note at Rusty’s house…” she blurted out breathlessly. “And Rusty’s at his house right now… by himself! We had a fight and I…”

  Hot tears were choking her, making it hard to see the road and even harder to talk. What would she find when she finally got to his house? The idea of never again working alongside Rusty while she teased and tormented him was unfathomable.

  To never enjoy another meal with him, to never hear his rare but wonderful laugh again was too much to even consider. Never again feeling his hands bringing her body to life or the feel of his mouth on hers in a way that was all Rusty would be more than she could bear.

  Killing himself would effectively kill her too… there would never be anyone else even close to comparing to him. She’d never love another person like she loved him… he was it for her. A man she respected… her own personal commanding officer… somehow she’d known that from the first night she’d talked to him on the phone.

  “We’re on our way now. He’s only about ten minutes from us… maybe less,” Ronnie said. “One of us will let you know.”

  Before she could advise him that she too was only about ten minutes out, Ronnie hung up on her. Forcing her tears into submission she swallowed hard several times and focused her mind on the road, driving the burn in her throat down into her stomach.

  Not nearly soon enough she managed to pull into his driveway, throw the car in park, turn off the ignition and was out of the car at a run even though her heart felt like it was about to explode.

  She barely registered Ronnie’s truck parked in the front yard, still running with both the driver’s side and passenger doors wide open. Oh God… no. Along the curb sat a run-down looking car that she recognized as Seth Lewis’ vehicle.

  Flinging open his front door and rushing inside, her gaze immediately landed on him. He was standing there, facing Ronnie with his hands on his hips and he looked… aggravated but shocked. Alive. Ian Hamilton stood on one side of Ronnie and Seth Lewis stood on the other.

  A barrage of emotions hit her so fast she felt each one for a mere second before the next one took over. Anger at him for making her worry, guilt that she’d let him down somehow, relief that he was still standing there with his disapproving frown, and sadness that beneath that tough exterior was a man living with a pain that was eating him alive.

  Then after each feeling quickly subsided… relief fought its way to the front of the line and flooded her soul. Flinging the legal pad with his note on it to the ground, she launched herself at him as the first of her tears spilled over onto her cheeks.

  ***


  Hearing the squeal of tires, Rusty had looked out his front window just in time to witness Ian, Ronnie and Seth charging up his front yard as if they were taking the hill. Within seconds they were in his living room.

  He’d waited patiently for several minutes for them to explain themselves and just what the hell they thought they were doing bursting into his house like they’d done. Instead, they’d stood around staring at him, looking stunned, relieved and thankful.

  Expecting that whatever it was that had them all up in arms must be pretty bad, he’d been shocked when Ronnie finally said, “Jesus… Rusty. Oh thank God… you’re still alive.”

  Looking at the relief on their faces, he’d been stricken speechless for a brief moment, but then realizing he needed to take charge of whatever bullshit was going on, he’d said, “Which one of you Bozos would like to explain what the hell that means and just what is going on that has you clowns busting in here like that?”

  “Amy called Ronnie talking about how Danny found a… letter… from you,” Seth explained as both Ronnie and Ian stared at him with their arms crossed over their thick chests. “She said it was a suicide note. You want to explain that, Sergeant?”

  It felt like a lifetime ago since he’d felt that lost… though in reality it had only been a couple of months. If Amy hadn’t interrupted that night… he wouldn’t be here now facing his friends… his brothers… knowing he owed them an explanation. Back then he felt like he had nothing left to offer.

  Since writing that letter so much in his life had changed. Life now felt more like a challenge than an overwhelming punishment to his senses. It was as if just a little more time had offered his soul one last mission… to survive no matter what… and he had answered with one last “hooah.”

  He would fight the bad days with all he had and wait on the next one to be better. After all, that was all he knew… fighting or cleaning. Sure he still had days that were worse than others but at least, for now, he didn’t feel completely hopeless.